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Does saying you'll never get divorced hurt your marriage?

When you tie the knot, you say it's until death parts you. On your wedding day, you'll probably tell everyone that it will never end. You'll never get divorced.

One therapist, however, thinks this actually isn't a very healthy outlook. She claims it can harm a marriage.

The problem, she says, is that then you wind up feeling like you don't have any choices. You're obligated to stay married to your spouse, even if you hate it. Even if you grow apart. Even if you both want to end it.

That's why she thinks people should acknowledge that divorce is a realistic option. If they know they can split up, then they have choices again.

This isn't to say that they should get divorced, but the option helps them know that they're staying married because they actually want to be married. They're not being forced into it by something out of their control. She claims that simply knowing that there is a way to end the marriage can make it healthy and strong.

She compared it to getting a job. If you signed a contract and had to stay, no matter what, for 40 years, you'd resent the job. If you found a good job that you were allowed to leave and chose to stay for 40 years, you'd still like it. The choice makes it more attractive.

Whether or not you agree with this theory, the fact is that divorce is common in the United States. If you and your spouse are thinking about splitting up, take the time to look into your legal rights.

Source: Yahoo Finance, "A therapist explains why one of the most traditional beliefs about marriage is also the most damaging," Shana Lebowitz Business Insider, July 05, 2017

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